No one is asking you for help. Go pour yourself another drink you delusional fool.
Ancient-Tax-8129 on
Protruding pete is at it again.
Pantarus on
lol this is clever.
“I was committing sexual assault”
Wonder how many MAGA unironically shared this shit because they just skimmed it and thought it was easy conservative outrage points farming.
PopcornPanties79 on
Lol, why does this look like the villain’s monologue five minutes before the hero shows up? 😂 Stop taking yourself so seriously.
zirky on
man, i would go to my local pokemon gym before turning to this clown
Street_Peace_8831 on
While I was in class getting my degree, he was at a frat house getting drunk.
Also, the second one is true.
Finalgirl2022 on
Umm. I’d rather not, thanks. Not because you could harm be but because
I can only cringe so hard.
moody_chickens on
Penis.
AwwwBawwws on
I’m watching the Secretary of Speeches give his WARRRIORRRR ethos speech at the moment. Whiskey Pete can’t stop pacing. It’s driving me nuts.
Ev3rst0rm on
I did Taekwondo as an elementary schooler, and have been taking boxing classes for about a month now. That may not be a lot of experience, but I’m still pretty confident I could take ya, Pete.
suorastas on
To be fair he was also partying quite a bit
brundlfly on
Let’s start a rumor he’s doing a match at the White House UFC event, see that ethos on display when he shrinks away.
AkimahenkaCat on
Literally nobody wants your help. You’re slime.
BeCurious7563 on
When Admirals & Generals (that he now gives orders to) were awake at midnight making decisions about how best to accomplish mission objectives, he was either in his hot tub drinking whiskey with his mistress or spreading misinformation on Faux News.

Relaxmf2022 on
Blade IPA, maybe.
Jmersh59 on
He’s a hero in his own mind, first to Sh t himself in battle.
Jimbiino7 on
“When you were up drinking coffee at 9AM on a Tuesday I was waking up in the yard, covered in vomit and wondering what the hell happened. We are not the same”
-Pete Hegseth probably
MrMoistly on
Wasn’t he on fox and friends when they were sued for $700 million for lying about a rigged election. They had to pay dominion b/c they falsely claimed dominion rigged the voting machines. Now he is in charge of the military? A talk show host whose program was sued for $700 million for lying and trying to overturn an election. Our capitol was stormed shortly their after too. He is in charge of the military, every American should be concerned by this
Straight_Story31 on
lmao hegseth was 100% that guy as a kid
Budget_Llama_Shoes on
Pete Hegseth was a piss poor Officer. He didn’t “study,” at all. He couldn’t even pass Ranger school, which for Infantry Officers, separates the professionals from the folks who just showed up. Just like the rest of the cabinet, he only has this job because an old man saw him on tv.
JawjaBill on
Word is you was drankin’
Nano_Burger on
Kegbreath was partying throughout his life.
Ihavebadreddit on
*points
“Look it thinks it’s people!”
Long_Serpent on
Pete Kegsbreath, the DIU hire.
typeo01 on
HARD
coconutpiecrust on
This copypasta has never been more relevant lol. Really nicely done. Pete is warrior we don’t deserve.
Level_Hour6480 on
Fascists believe that abstract concepts like “warrior ethos” and willpower are more important than things like logistics and soft power.
32 Comments
No one is asking you for help. Go pour yourself another drink you delusional fool.
Protruding pete is at it again.
lol this is clever.
“I was committing sexual assault”
Wonder how many MAGA unironically shared this shit because they just skimmed it and thought it was easy conservative outrage points farming.
Lol, why does this look like the villain’s monologue five minutes before the hero shows up? 😂 Stop taking yourself so seriously.
man, i would go to my local pokemon gym before turning to this clown
While I was in class getting my degree, he was at a frat house getting drunk.
Also, the second one is true.
Umm. I’d rather not, thanks. Not because you could harm be but because
I can only cringe so hard.
Penis.
I’m watching the Secretary of Speeches give his WARRRIORRRR ethos speech at the moment. Whiskey Pete can’t stop pacing. It’s driving me nuts.
I did Taekwondo as an elementary schooler, and have been taking boxing classes for about a month now. That may not be a lot of experience, but I’m still pretty confident I could take ya, Pete.
To be fair he was also partying quite a bit
Let’s start a rumor he’s doing a match at the White House UFC event, see that ethos on display when he shrinks away.
Literally nobody wants your help. You’re slime.
When Admirals & Generals (that he now gives orders to) were awake at midnight making decisions about how best to accomplish mission objectives, he was either in his hot tub drinking whiskey with his mistress or spreading misinformation on Faux News.

Blade IPA, maybe.
He’s a hero in his own mind, first to Sh t himself in battle.
“When you were up drinking coffee at 9AM on a Tuesday I was waking up in the yard, covered in vomit and wondering what the hell happened. We are not the same”
-Pete Hegseth probably
Wasn’t he on fox and friends when they were sued for $700 million for lying about a rigged election. They had to pay dominion b/c they falsely claimed dominion rigged the voting machines. Now he is in charge of the military? A talk show host whose program was sued for $700 million for lying and trying to overturn an election. Our capitol was stormed shortly their after too. He is in charge of the military, every American should be concerned by this
lmao hegseth was 100% that guy as a kid
Pete Hegseth was a piss poor Officer. He didn’t “study,” at all. He couldn’t even pass Ranger school, which for Infantry Officers, separates the professionals from the folks who just showed up. Just like the rest of the cabinet, he only has this job because an old man saw him on tv.
Word is you was drankin’
Kegbreath was partying throughout his life.
*points
“Look it thinks it’s people!”
Pete Kegsbreath, the DIU hire.
HARD
This copypasta has never been more relevant lol. Really nicely done. Pete is warrior we don’t deserve.
Fascists believe that abstract concepts like “warrior ethos” and willpower are more important than things like logistics and soft power.
https://preview.redd.it/e52x79uk5bsf1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=245d36256123c8ec465463d6cceb4f30f1777947
Presenting DUI hire Whiskey Pete Kegseth – Department of Dewars
Not sure if joke or he actually said these things verbatim…
Never asked for him at all
I gathered you from the corners of the Earth to declare . . . No beardos!